As a mom you hope that you are doing right by your kids. Sometimes I think if I had known how hard motherhood would be............, but then you have those awesome moments when your kids shine and you have to say beaming with pride, "That's my girl up there!" Saige was voted into poerty jam at school and came out in first place out of 25 kids. Her poetry is so deep and heart felt I have to wonder...... Where did that come from?!? I wanted to share her poems here. I hope you enjoy them.
Empty
I feel like this should hurt.
Like the pain should have come by now,
I want to feel something, anything,
My heart has become a black void,
Soaking up pain but leaving no scars.
I feel nothing,
Shouldn't this hurt?
It doesn't hut,
Me.
I see the pain in him,
The pain I should share,
But I don't.
His eyes are clouded and dull,
But I feel nothing.
His walk is slumped and slow,
But I feel nothing.
This went too far,
I let him believe,
Something I didn't understand.
I feel nothing.
He didn't, and won't let go,
He freely displays the hurt,
Why don't I feel the same?
The emptiness is starting to consume me.
But I feel no pain, no sorrow. no guilt.
I saw something that wasn't there.
I let is go too far, and paid the price.
But all I feel is empty.
I feel no pain, but he does.
I'm sorry for hurting him.
I didn't understand, nor did he.
I still can't find myself in the mess.
Tangles, ratted, torn and lost.
The emptiness is the only thing holding me together.
Stopping me from being angry and hurt,
I ment what I said,
People change, I changed, opened my eyes.
I want to be mad, afraid, betrayed,
Anything to fill the blackness,
But I feel nothing.
I have moved on, now, it's your turn,
Forgive me.
**********************************************************************************
Tiny Dancer
I silently whisper to myself,
Just breathe; everything is going to be okay.
Music loud, and strong,
Crowd cheering seeps backstage,
One more dance to go.
Little dancers already on stage,
In bight glittering costumes,
I adjust my own in anticipation,
Heart pounding in my ears,
Song ends with delighted wails.
Breathing becomes rapid,
I'm sure the audience can hear my heartbeat.
Tiny dancers throw themselves across the stage.
Full of grace and joy.
The song slows and ends.
My heart stops altogether.
Curtains close.
Dancers rush off stage, wishing me luck as they pass.
One step forward onto the stage.
I'm stopped, by a tiny hand gripping my dress.
A tiny dancer looks up at me.
Startling blue eyes glitter in stage light,
"When I grow up, I want to dance like you." she whispers only to me.
She flutters away, taking my fear with her,
Now center stage, body tense and ready.
I calm my accerlerated breathing.
Music starts.
Flowing through my body,
I let my heart and soul take over.
All else dwindles away,
Only me and the stage now.
All eyes on me,
The words of the tiny dancer in my pounding head.
I let the audience see the true me through my dance.
My soul played out on the stage.
All too soon, the music ends,
The thrill stays.
Only now do I remember to breathe.
Curtains ease closed.
One step off stage,
I meet my tiny dancer again.
This time with a hug,
I whisper only to her, "When I grow up, I want to dance just, like, you."
